Some people say "Honesty is the best policy.", I was one of those people. Recent events have changed my perspective on honesty being the best policy. I had my third child on April 29th 2012, her name is Kira. Since then I have been so proud at the fact of how much weight I've lost, to me it's nearly incredible how much my stomach as gone down. May 12, 2012... I'm drinking beer for the first time in 9mon, I felt amazing and sexy, so proud of my body. Being proud didn't last long, it's nonexistent now. My husband invited his buddy from work over and after being here an hour or so, he asked his friend if he thought I was attractive (still not sure on why he asked this), his friend immediately said, "No, she's over weight.".... That said, how do you think I feel right now? I'm still crying and still not understanding why he was so blunt. I can't be mad at his honesty but I now hate it. No one deserves to feel such heart break, trust me... My heart is broken. After feeling so happy and accomplished, one man diminished that in 2 seconds, a man I barely even know. He's not heartless, he's just honest. I'm scared to eat now, I don't want to eat at all now actually. I have been breast feeding Kira (minus tonight since I'm drinking) but I fear now I will have to stop and feed her formula instead. Why? Because I need to stop eating in order to stop being "over weight" and when you're not breast feeding, it's easy to lose weight by not eating.
So odd that I thought I was even remotely cute or sexy, I should have known how hideous I am, how fat and over weight I am. It should have been so obvious to me, I don't know why I didn't see it before. All I know right now, is that I'm never leaving my room again unless I'm skinny. All I want is to be pretty, guess I can't even do that right. No wonder everyone at WCG hates me, it all makes sense now.
