She sits back, relaxing on her comfy pillows placed neatly against her wall
She picks up a pencil and some paper, she begins to draw
Slow gentle streaks cross the white, smooth paper she holds in her hands
But suddenly, her hand stops and her mind jams
A memory infiltrates it's way into her reluctant mind
Seeking to plant an evil of some kind
Bits and pieces form, creating a scene
Why is this happening, what does this mean?
Her room begins to spin and morph into another setting
It morphed into a room she has tried forgetting
Voices and bodies begin to appear
This is what she had feared
Three voices ring in her head
Oh how she wished she were dead
A hand covers her mouth as she screams
If only this could just be a dream
It's dark, but she feels someone ontop of her
Her vision is impaired, his face is a blur
He rips her pants off to do his deed
He was strong, she had to concede
One routing him on, one concealing her screams
She wasn't getting out of this it seemed
Tears and labored breathing was all that could be seen or heard
One whispers in her ear, saying only three words
"Just take it." Is all he said
And with that, the visions were dead
Sweating and crying, she rocked back and forth
A repressed memory, of course
A night she had long forgotten had come back
Stopping her life in it's track
She will never be the same
She was used just for their gain
She took her knife and carved her skin
She was determined to make this end
No more remembering, no more tears
No more sadness and no more fear.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
I rather feel pain than nothing at all.
Below is my response to "Grown Men" on a gaming site that are picking on me cause of this post.... " Just got back from Olive Garden, we had so much fun =) Nadia (my 3yr old) out of no where stands up on her chair and says...."LADY GAGA!!!!" The began singing Alejandro, then a few moments after she finished her spaghetti, she screams, "The flying spaghetti monster!" with her face all sauced up and her hands out like a monster.....Gotta love that girl." They began to make fun of me and my parenting. They think my parenting is poor.
"Never smoke around my children, never fed my kids rocks. The things you say, you twist them so you can feel good about yourself as long as you hurt someone else. As for the bag thing, I don't see a problem, lol seriously.... It was her doing, it was an open bag that could not be zipped up, she was watched to make sure she didn't "DIE".... So, really, your logic fails. You try to bring ppl down over petty, poor observation. Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you get shit thrown in your face. Either way, I laugh at this stuff now cause it is just stupid that you try and try and try too hard to be "cool" just cause you can find faults in ppl, faults that are tiny, tiny, little nothingness. LOL. Really, where do you think you are getting in life making someone feel like they are a bad parent, when really, they are the best parent than more ppl in the world. I cause no harm to my children, I feed them, bathe them, play with them, and keep them alive while their father is out fighting in Afghanistan. Pretty much as a single mom, I say fuck you and fuck your logic lol. I'm not even mad, just stating that really guys... How old are yall and is it really that fun to poke at someone that is trying her damndest to do the best for her children? You don't even know what I have sacrificed to give my kids the good life, no I do not live in a mansion, but I have my own house, nice car, huge back yard, regular income, wtf more do you want me to give my kids? I'm fucking trying. Kids get into stuff, kids scream, kids cry, and kids make a mess. Half the ppl that say shit, have no kids. Hub has kids and he agrees on the shit you say, that I do not get. But it's whatever, I just wanted to see what reply I get from this, cause I am just dying to know, to know wth is your fucking point??? As a 20yr old (practically) single mom, with two kids, I am doing A FUCKING FINE ASS JOB IF I MIGHT SAY SO. This is the internet, got that.. But seriously, shouldn't you pick on someone that actually doesn't pull out their hair trying to find ways to make life better for their kids? Go pick on Octomom. Stop trying to make your pathetic life worth something by picking on me.
The End. Reply now, I would love to read your responses."
Why can't they just leave me alone? I try to make innocent posts, funny posts, and they go out of their way to hurt me and make me really want to die. Sometimes, late at night after I sign out of that site, I lay on my bed, look up at the ceiling and just cry, believing that I truly am, an awful parent. Why must they do this? I just want to be part of their group, I just want them to like me, I just want to fit in. I hate being a woman, I rather be a man. Maybe then they would have liked me from the beginning. I can't quit that site, it's too addicting, they are my only source of real friends, but they are not my friends, they hate me... That just goes to show how pathetic my life really is. I just want to die now. No one will ever accept me for who I am.
-Kimberly (emotionally numb)
"Never smoke around my children, never fed my kids rocks. The things you say, you twist them so you can feel good about yourself as long as you hurt someone else. As for the bag thing, I don't see a problem, lol seriously.... It was her doing, it was an open bag that could not be zipped up, she was watched to make sure she didn't "DIE".... So, really, your logic fails. You try to bring ppl down over petty, poor observation. Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you get shit thrown in your face. Either way, I laugh at this stuff now cause it is just stupid that you try and try and try too hard to be "cool" just cause you can find faults in ppl, faults that are tiny, tiny, little nothingness. LOL. Really, where do you think you are getting in life making someone feel like they are a bad parent, when really, they are the best parent than more ppl in the world. I cause no harm to my children, I feed them, bathe them, play with them, and keep them alive while their father is out fighting in Afghanistan. Pretty much as a single mom, I say fuck you and fuck your logic lol. I'm not even mad, just stating that really guys... How old are yall and is it really that fun to poke at someone that is trying her damndest to do the best for her children? You don't even know what I have sacrificed to give my kids the good life, no I do not live in a mansion, but I have my own house, nice car, huge back yard, regular income, wtf more do you want me to give my kids? I'm fucking trying. Kids get into stuff, kids scream, kids cry, and kids make a mess. Half the ppl that say shit, have no kids. Hub has kids and he agrees on the shit you say, that I do not get. But it's whatever, I just wanted to see what reply I get from this, cause I am just dying to know, to know wth is your fucking point??? As a 20yr old (practically) single mom, with two kids, I am doing A FUCKING FINE ASS JOB IF I MIGHT SAY SO. This is the internet, got that.. But seriously, shouldn't you pick on someone that actually doesn't pull out their hair trying to find ways to make life better for their kids? Go pick on Octomom. Stop trying to make your pathetic life worth something by picking on me.
The End. Reply now, I would love to read your responses."
Why can't they just leave me alone? I try to make innocent posts, funny posts, and they go out of their way to hurt me and make me really want to die. Sometimes, late at night after I sign out of that site, I lay on my bed, look up at the ceiling and just cry, believing that I truly am, an awful parent. Why must they do this? I just want to be part of their group, I just want them to like me, I just want to fit in. I hate being a woman, I rather be a man. Maybe then they would have liked me from the beginning. I can't quit that site, it's too addicting, they are my only source of real friends, but they are not my friends, they hate me... That just goes to show how pathetic my life really is. I just want to die now. No one will ever accept me for who I am.
-Kimberly (emotionally numb)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)