Pregnancy Rant

Being pregnant is so difficult, you need so much, I hate being needy. Your emotions are everywhere, up and down, you're always tired and you're always hungry. It's sometimes not so hard when you have a partner that supports you in any and every way possible, that is something I unfortunately don't have. I understand that he works all day and most every day, but how hard is it to please your wife?

This blog is about my anger towards my husband, I'm being civil towards him right now but that's just because whining and arguing isn't going to get me what I want. All I wanted today was some fast food, I've been craving a cheeseburger with Big Mac sauce on it and was denied even just one, ONE! I know you cannot compare TV life to real life but I would really like to be treated like the women in all those romance movies, their man always comforting them, giving them everything they want and more. Seeing how this is reality, I'll never get any of that, which is sad. Even some of my married friends have a better relationship with their spouse than I do, which is so weird... I don't understand this at all.

I give everything to my husband and I just wish him to do the same. All this anger over a cheeseburger, sounds so childish, but when you are pregnant... That's how things are sometimes. Strange cravings at strange hours, that's my problem and I can't help it. I know he sometimes gets angry at me for wanting fast food, I wish I could do something about it, I love him and want to make him happy but I really just can't help what I crave. I'm not sure if anyone who reads this, knows the show "Freaky Eaters" well, that's me... I'm one hell of a freaky eater and it mostly consists of fast food. I restrict myself for my husbands sake but for how long can I keep that up? Sometimes you have to give in, sometimes you have to supply the fiend.

My husband is a smoker, all he does is smoke, smoke, smoke. I understand it's addicting and a hard habit to break, but then why can't he understand this is a comparable situation? He wastes money on smokes constantly, he smokes at the max, two packs a day. I only order or ask for fast food once or twice every two weeks, for our bank accounts sake. I know where my limit is and I know how to stop myself, he cannot. His excuse is always that we cannot afford it, should I then start telling him that about his smoking? I've been so understanding about it that I've never said things like that to him, maybe it's time though. If there is ever something for us to argue about and possible make this marriage rough, it's about food and cigs. There isn't a thing else wrong in this marriage, not a single thing, it's always just the food or the cigarettes.

My children eat healthy, they are not fed the fast food I want or get, some may deem that unfair, I don't. Some might also say that I should lead by example, no... I will do what I want. If I want fast food on occasion, I should be able to have it, regardless what I eat, it's not going to effect the baby the way it effects my body. All this over one cheese burger, this is pathetic.... Sigh. Oh well. I never get what I truly desire.