End of my day, beginning of tomorrow.

Here I am, sitting alone in my room after playing on my xbox360 for 12hrs straight. I am a little tired, not much though. Every morning I wake up feeling real shitty about my life, I live such a dull and pathetic life. I have a husband and 2 kids, how can my life be dull and pathetic you say? Well, one, my husband is deployed in Afghanistan, two, my kids are too young to really converse with and stuff.... So pretty much I am stuck talking to myself when I am around my kids or I play video games the remainder of the night when they are in bed. I am only 20yrs old and with two kids, apparently that is looked down upon. I disagree with anyone that thinks that, because out of all the statistics, I beat them. I married my highschool sweetheart (father of my children), and have wonderful income, how is that bad at my age? Oh well, it really doesn't matter. 

I try to be everyone's friend, I try to be the "cool" one, I try to fit in..... Thing is, I "try" too much :( No one really seems to like me, not clear on the reasons really. Maybe the fact that I am a young mother, married at 20, girl gamer, and bisexual, pretty much says to everyone, "Hey, this chick is not a good person, lets make fun of her and her pathetic life and hope that she cuts too deep one day and dies." Yeah, sounds about like that. I bring this up because I experience that alot from a bunch of grown guys, on a gaming site called wecravegames.com, it's a fairly well designed site and all, some great ppl too but they can be so harsh. First day I joined, I did make a fool of myself, I gave them that so it's okay. But after that, they were relentless, they trolled my photos and made memes out of them. They called me names, disrespected my kids and husband. No one likes me there but maybe 2-3 ppl out of like 100. I can't be that bad of a person, there is no way. I know this is the Internet and what not, but sometimes ppl resort to the Internet when they socially cannot make it in the real world. I pretty much have no where to turn it seems. Either way I go, everyone hates me for petty reasons, I hardly say anything about being picked on cause then if I do, they will pick on me more. Being "Alpha" is most likely the way to go, the weakest link is not a good position. They are wolves, I swear it, and I am the lamb. They are mighty hungry around me. Sigh.

Well, it's 0131, I should be getting to sleep. I have my taxes to file in the morning sometime. For my first Blog entry, tis okay... I shall write more when I have more to write. Goodnight.